137Misty loves being a mommy to Aaron and Orin*. She marvels in the little moments and celebrates the big ones like the finalization of Orin’s adoption on August 26, 2013. This single parent, who works full time as a microbiologist, says that being an adoptive parent is a different kind of motherhood because it happened on her own terms. We asked Misty to tell us more about her experience as an adoptive parent with Children’s Bureau and her life with Aaron and Orin. 

 

 

What prompted your interest in becoming an adoptive parent?

As many young women, I had goals set for my life, and ideal timeline in which these goals were to be met. Of course, nothing ever happens the way we plan it. I decided that I wanted to be a mother by 28 years old. When it became apparent that marriage was not and likely wouldn’t be on the horizon, I made the decision to pursue motherhood on my own. After failed attempts at natural conception I figured God must have wanted me to go in a different direction. Many of my sorority sisters were social workers at the time, and between them and my mother’s suggestions, I decided adoption would be a more fulfilling route to my goal.

How did you find Children’s Bureau and why did you choose to adopt through this agency?

My mother had a co-worker who had previously done the Fost-Adopt program through Children’s Bureau and told my mother about it. After speaking with Maria Otero and completing the initial paperwork, I was confident in the ability of Children’s Bureau to act compassionately not only towards the babies, but towards myself and my own unique situation. I was impressed with the thoroughness of the agency in terms of making sure that I knew what I was getting into each step of the way, and their ability to ensure I was prepared for each phase of the process.

Tell me about your experience with Children’s Bureau.

I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Children’s Bureau. The social workers and staff are amazing. My social worker visits with Laura were like having a friend over to hang out. If I needed anything, she was a phone call or email away. At no point in either of my fost-adopt experiences did I feel as if I were doing this alone. I was important, my children were important and our needs were important. The agency worked with me very closely for the unexpected arrival of my second son. I had to become recertified in record time and everyone was so helpful. Laura helped set everything up so that my son would be in a safe, CB foster home while my recertification was pending and now we have new friends!

Tell me about the children you have adopted.

My first little guy is named Aaron. He became part of my family at 5 days old straight from the hospital. He was healthy despite the circumstances, and has grown into such a sweet, compassionate and bright boy. Even though I planned for his arrival, I could have never planned for how much I love being his mommy. He is helpful and he loves to make sure everyone around him is happy. We spoil him a bit, but he’s a pretty well-rounded little boy. He was more than ready to start preschool in September.

My second baby is Orin. As luck would have it, he is Aaron’s biological brother. He’s 19 months now. He was my special surprise, but Aaron knew he was coming. About 2 months before I was contacted by CB Aaron started asking me for a baby and making big deals over diaper commercials. I assured him the two of us were just fine together but then here comes Orin! He is a confident, independent little boy. He has a strong mind and constitution. He has his sweet moments but right now he is all “rough and tumble,” no time for kisses! He is different from Aaron in many ways but that’s what makes this fun and interesting.

How has becoming an adoptive parent changed your life?

I imagine my life has changed the way any new parent’s life would… little to no sleep during the infant months, lots more laundry to do, and diaper changing has given me a much stronger stomach these days. But like I tell my friends who ask me, “this is a different kind of motherhood.” Being an adoptive parent allowed me to become a mother on my own terms, at the same time giving a home to children who statistically might not receive one. I’ve always wanted boys, and one thing I remember vividly from training is hearing how African-American boys are the last to be adopted and how disproportionate the number of homes are that are willing to accept them in comparison to other children. My goal to become a mother became a mission. If no one wanted these boys, I did. What started as a want became a drive, and it still is. As my situation changes and allows for it, I will continue to foster African-American boys and try to brighten the future for as many as I can.

Any plans to adopt more children?

I would love to. I joke around and tell people, “I think I have one left in me.” But I would do it again. Right now any further additions to my little family are contingent upon the space I have available. I am confident that I will be blessed with the space to adopt again. If God has another brother for Aaron and Orin, I’m sure He’ll give me what I need to make it happen.

*Names have been changed.